Another writing prompt… a time I was hurt.
I really don’t want to do this one…and yet I do. I don’t think I’ve really spoken about it to too many people over the years, at least not in detail. It was so long ago, many lifetimes for I have been many different people since then. I was so in love, and maybe even in love with being in love. I though I had found someone who loved me for me, for whom I was. I felt like I didn’t have to put on any masks, that I could be the person whom I really was. Another writing prompt was to write about a time you were happy for a week straight. Maybe I’ll do that one, too, but about another time. To be honest, when I think of that time, it’s hard to remember how happy I was because of the pain I now associate with it. I’m sure you can guess what happened, she cheated on me.
I found out from a “friend.” Hell, it was him she slept with. I told him I already knew and that he should have the balls to own up to it. I didn’t know, I just suspected. As I’m writing this I find it odd that I could easily have written about a time I was physically hurt. The prompt just said “hurt” and I immediately thought of emotional hurt. Damn therapy mind lol. Honestly, I kinda want to write about that now. It seems easier than to relive the emotional hurt. Maybe this will bring some closure.
Anyway, I was hurt and I didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t know HOW to deal with that type of hurt. I was starting my third year in college, I had the girl I loved and everything was pulled out from under me. So I did what any red-blooded, American college boy would do. I drank. A lot. So much so that I got to know my bar tender fairly well. WOW, was she beautiful. I considered her to be one of if not the hottest women on campus. I considered her to be so far out of my league that it never even crossed my mind to ask her out. And yet, even through my introverted, drunken awkwardness, I did manage to have a couple of conversations with her. She even gave me a few drinks for free. Heck, probably more than a few.
The next year I bumped into her at a party, the last of the year before we would both graduate. I’d never seen her at a party before and thought it was pretty cool. She was kinda drunk. That’s when I found out she had a crush on me that whole time. But now she had a boyfriend, she was going away, and it was too late for us. I was flabbergasted. I like that word, and it really fits. It makes me realize that because I spent so much time in pity , depression and drunkenness I missed a chance to go out with someone new. And did I mention how gorgeous she was?
Oh well, life goes on, and it’s been pretty good. Moral of the story? Get your head out of your ass and notice what’s right in front of you. In the words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”